carmex

Strumpet enjoys the finer things in life: Sex, drugs and rock 'n' fucking roll. She has now moved on to bigger and better sex toys.

And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

~Cyndi Lauper

When I was a kid, I was given a lot of chores to do before I could go outside to play.

I would try to make these chores as fun as possible.

One of my chores was dusting the living room.

Now, my mother is very anal.

Runs in the family.

I would have to make sure that I got into every nook and cranny.

I could not miss a spot, because she would be checking.

One good thing about Choretime was that we would be able to play a record on the stereo while we were cleaning. Me and my brothers would always take turns picking out what album we would get to listen to. I would always choose the soundtrack to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I knew all the words to every song before I knew what they were about. Before I had ever seen the movie. I was nine years old and singing 'Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me. I want to be dirty.' I would sing it all day long and long into the night.

One part of dusting the Living Room was the coffee table. On either side of our coffee table were sliding cabinet doors. And, one day, while making sure not to miss a spot, I slid one of the cabinet doors over. Now, this was where my mother kept all of the old magazines. Her back issues of Cosmo, Vogue, and Glamour. I did not know, however, it was also where she kept my father's back issues of Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. Waaaaay at the bottom of the pile. Underneath his boring Popular Science shit. Well, now that I had discovered this.... I just had to go back there when no one was looking.

I was starting to get a grasp on what, 'Touch me. I want to be dirty,' might actually mean.

I am the oldest of three, so when my parents would head out, I was left in charge. And since there was no babysitter around to keep tabs..... as soon as they left, I would check on my brothers and immediately go check out the stack of magazines while my bros innocently played Star Wars in their bedroom.

Every single time the 'rents were planning a night out, the first thing that popped into my newly dirty mind was, 'Totally tubular, I get to go and look at tits and ass! Like Awesome, fur shur!!'

I was way too scared to actually steal a magazine for my own personal use later and keep it under my mattress, or something. I thought my mom would know it was missing. Or that she would find it. So, I had to get all my dirty snooping done while they were out.

I would greedily devour every inch of every picture. I would place dainty kisses upon the pages where their nipples were.

As time went on, and I started to do more than just ogle the hot chicks, stare at the centerfolds and try to understand the dirty cartoons.....I actually started to read the articles. This is when I discovered Penthouse Forum.

Oh, what a glorious day that was.

I started reading about people cumming. Didn't know what this was. But, it sounded really fucking cool. I would read about parts of my body I didn't know existed. It made me quite curious. To say the least.

As my chore list grew, it eventually entailed dusting my parents bedroom. Whereupon I discovered the stash of his current issues of Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. Now, I had a new spot to play when they went out. The first chance I had after they would close the door behind them, I would immediately run to their bedroom, lock the door, open up my father's dresser and grab a Penthouse. I'd kneel down next to the bed with my chosen issue and would strategically place my crotch over the wooden-edged corner of the bedframe. And as I read, I would rub against it. I soon started to realize what these sensations were that I had been reading about. And I was determined to make myself 'cum.' Whatever that was. But, I knew it wasn't going to happen with the corner of the bed.

Now, I had always played with myself. But, had never really discovered my clit. After feeling it come to life when I would read Forum and rub against the corner of the bed, I decided that at night I would just have to play with that part of myself a little more intensely.

This is where it gets a little strange.

Cos I don't really recall exactly how I started to do this. I didn't really know what I was doing with my fingers and I soon realized I enjoyed having a bit of fun with random objects 'down there' and one of the random things I soon grew attached to playing with was my Carmex. The small white round glass jar with the yellow metal lid. I was already addicted to putting the stuff on my lips, the tingle I felt along my mouth when I did so, and that fantastic Carmex smell. And one night after applying the stuff, my hand was wandering while the Carmex was still in its grasp....the cool glass seemed to feel really good against the lips of my pussy....so I started to place it upon my clit. And I soon realized it felt really good to rock the circular container of Carmex all around my little pea.

I began to do this every night.

When my parents would go out I would read the stories of Penthouse Forum incessantly, and then at night I would fantasize about being in such scenarios while I rubbed that Carmex container all around my clitoris.

When one night....

....BAM!

There it was.

I came.

I thought....Wow....No wonder people write stories about that!

I also thought.....next time I can do it BETTER.

And an addict was born.

Soon after, I discovered my father's porn collection.

Oh, what a great day THAT was!

So, now that I'm older there are two ways to get into Strumpet's pants.....

1. If you are a man with a wickedly perverted sense of humour and a dirty, dirty mind who is not afraid to use either in the bedroom....

2. .....or you could just put on some Carmex.