The Gym

Sarah is a student working towards her MPH. She studies sex in prisons and ethics. Her hobbies include reading, watching TV, yoga, and masturbating.

The day started like any other and I didn’t have any special plans the day IT happened. Hell, I wasn’t even alone in my bedroom when IT happened—I was surrounded by people. They knew just as much as I did that IT would happen and happen then. The IT I am referring to is my first orgasm.

My first orgasm was something I wasn’t trying for or something I wanted at the time but it was very welcomed. I was at the gym working out when IT happened. It was the leg day workout and after a few exercises I laid down on the leg curl machine to do a few sets. (Yes, I had my first orgasm on the leg curl machine!) I set the weight at 50 pounds and did my first set noticing it felt better than normal. My genitals gave off a nice, light pulsing sensation but nothing earth shattering so I didn’t think anything of it and set the weight at 60 pounds for the next set. That set became more intense and I didn’t want to stop just so I could see how good this feeling could get. The sensation was building so I thought I’d try a set at 70 pounds.

Well that did it. Not even halfway through that set I came. I felt the greatest, most intense quivering between my legs and I just wanted to shout! I couldn’t though because people around me would know for sure what happened. I was already paranoid that somebody was watching me knowing what I was doing. I let my body fall into the bench enjoying that post-orgasmic bliss trying to pretend that I just did a really tough set.

After a few moments the intensity died and I thought it was safe to get up. As I slid off that bench to a somewhat upright position I had the biggest grin on my face knowing something special and magical just happened. Those first few steps were like walking on clouds.

Ever since then I’ve tried to repeat this wonderful little exercise perk every time I do a leg workout only with some success. Who knew exercising could be so fun?!

Speck

Persephone is a thirty-something sexual submissive who loves to share her experiences and fantasies with others at http://tangysweet.blogspot.com.

I can remember long ago when the ordinary joining with a man was all I'd known and all I thought possible. Then, one night in a hotel room, came the one who showed me there were other ways to play. He was one lover of two at that time in my life, one like night and the other like day.

For a while, the ordinary way of loving was like the dry ground of brightly lit daytime. It was a stable and familiar place, somewhere I could see what lay before me. The other times, with the other man, were the rainy stormy nights. Eventually in my mind, the two ways to make love mixed, making the ground muddy beneath my feet and leaving me unable to find my footing for a while.

He didn't ask me the first time. He simply got out the rope and demanded my wrists. I could have said no and he would've stopped, but I was playfully curious. I didn't know then that it would open a door in my psyche that I didn't even know existed. I didn't know then that door would open into a world that had only ever just tickled the edges of my consciousness. I never thought I'd visit, let alone live there.

The first time, watching him stalk around the bed with the rope held loosely in one hand as he figured out the best way to bind me, I'd giggled nervously. I cracked jokes and felt my stomach flutter. But when the rope slipped around my wrists, when it pulled tight, spreading my arms and making it impossible for me to cover my breasts, my cunt, my face, the giggling and jokes stopped.

Exposed and feeling somehow strangely honest, he teased me ruthlessly; building me up and easing me back down over and over. He controlled not only my ability to move, but when and how I would cum. That night he drew out something inside me that had been only an unrecognized speck before. He fanned the speck until it glimmered brilliantly, set only to intensify with time.

That first time he bound my wrists and spread my legs without a word, he teased me until I panted and I moaned, until I begged him for release. When I came, I did it thrashing and pulling at the rope as the waves of it overwhelmed me. It left me trembling not only in my body, but also in my mind.

Not only was it the first time I came while I was bound, it was the first time a man made me cum completely on his own, without any manipulation on my part. He truly did exert his control over my body in every sense of the word. He compelled me to give all my trust to him with the assurance that he would take care of me. He forced me to expose myself and open to him in ways that went far beyond the rope that bound my limbs.

I like to imagine that he saw that speck inside me, knew I would be the type to take to his kind of play with a natural inclination. Perhaps it wasn't at all like that, maybe he simply saw an opportunity to act out his fantasies with me, with no thought to whether or not it might change me forever...but I like to think the former is true.

Diary of My First Orgasm

The editors would like to note a change in policy. We are now accepting first orgasm stories that occur before age 18. However, these stories must be solo (no partners, sorry). Those who hesitated with the age limit, submit submit submit. Thank you.

J writes extensively at http://www.very-koi.net/. She rocks. And so does her mom.

Masturbation has been a very frequent activity for me ever since I experienced my first orgasm about a month after turning 13. One of my female classmates described to a group of us exactly how to do it and how it felt. Needless to say I couldn't wait to get home and give it a try. After going to bed earlier than usual, I shut off the light, got under the covers, hiked up my nightie and experimented for about an hour without much progress. Even so, I was clearly having a LOT of fun.

Things were getting a little hot under the comforter because it was early September, but I wanted to continue and see if something might happen. I pushed the covers aside, slid out of my nightie, and tossed it to the floor by the bed. Having only recently entered puberty, I could easily see my vulva by tipping my hips up a bit and I figured I'd turn on the light to get a better view of what I was doing. Dimming the light, I laid back in bed on top of the sheets, this time experiencing a whole new set of feelings and joyous freedom as the cool air blowing through the open window caressed my exposed, naked body. I savored those feelings for a few minutes before slowly spreading my legs. My pelvis tingled when the fresh air wafted over my crotch and newly emerging pubic hair. It felt incredibly sexy, much unlike anything I had experienced before. The whole situation was kind of risky too, since my parents don't believe in locks on bedroom doors.

I ran my hands lightly over my body for a couple of minutes, and my heart rate jumped and my breathing deepened. Eventually I reached down between my legs again and was astounded to find that my inner and outer lips had moved away from each other and the entire center area was wet. A closer look down there revealed a wide-open column of dampness taking on a darker pink color, almost red. The bedroom gradually filled with the mild scent of my newly discovered womanhood. Once again I slid my hand back to my clitoris and vulva, fingers moving up and down and in circles.

Everything was definitely feeling different now. At some point I realized my hand was moving faster as the minutes ticked on. The tingling and heaviness in my pelvis became close to unbearable as my heart raced and I panted heavily. I got a little scared and wondered if this was actually an orgasm or if I was hurting myself somehow. I would have stopped, but the girl at school said things would happen this way. Her advice was to just keep going and massaging myself no matter what.

The muscles in my body tensed as I manipulated my clitoris with increasing speed and pressure, my entire arm cycling up and down all the way to the shoulder. My other hand wandered down to my vaginal opening and found a soft mound of twitching, warm flesh, dripping with lubrication. I moved two fingers of that hand lightly against the orifice, in synch with the other hand working my clit. This heightened the intensity to a new level and for the first time I began to realize this is what orgasms are all about, even though I had no idea of what was about to happen. Instinctively I removed the one hand from my vaginal opening and quickened the action on my clitoris with the other while applying more pressure, really concentrating on that single erect organ of sensitive tissue sticking out from my crotch.

Just as it seemed the feelings could not become any more intense, everything broke loose all at once. My nipples hardened and pointed outward toward the ceiling. My buttock and hip muscles flexed in a manner that spread my legs apart so the sides of my knees practically touched the bed covers below. My back arched and I raised my butt slightly off the bed. An intense combination of warmth and electricity enveloped me, as the whole area between my hips seemed to fill up and was about to explode. I started hyperventilating.

This was IT, I thought, while a big smile went across my face. I moaned and my eyes slowly closed because I wanted to feel every sensation of the moment while my arm and hand moved as a single unit with only one purpose in mind. I was truly finding out what an orgasm feels like, or so I thought. But even this didn't prepare me for what happened next.

Totally without warning or any anticipation on my part, my heart began slamming away, each beat visibly moving my chest along with an audible rush of blood pumping through the vessels in my ears. My whole body went rigid and straight as a board. Only my feet, shoulders and head were in contact with the mattress -- everything in between was up off the bed and my butt cheeks hovered about a foot in the air. My rib cage expanded with every labored gasp and I shrieked when convulsions gripped my pelvic region and quickly traveled outward to rock my entire being. Hips bucking uncontrollably with each contraction, I shot a few drops of some clear fluid which landed on my inner right thigh about halfway to the knee and dripped down to the back of my leg.

I did not want it to end. My arm stroked frantically and the convulsions kept up for what must have been over a minute. The bed shook with each violent hip thrust and there was a good amount of moaning coming from deep within my throat. I didn't worry too much about who might hear me and assumed everyone was asleep or watching television. Of course, the contractions finally weakened as my orgasm subsided. I lay there in a sweating heap, panting, marveling at what just happened. I was totally overcome by a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration.

A voice on the other side of the door startled me. "Jamie, are you all right?"

Oh God! My mother heard me! I sprang up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Uh, yeah Mom! I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm fine." I was light-headed and still seeing stars when the doorknob moved. I hopped up and threw myself against the door. "Everything's fine Mom, you don't have to come in!" She said okay and walked back to her room.

That was way too close, and it really scared me. No more masturbating, I thought as I shut off the light. It isn't worth it. My mother would die if she found out, and I would too. I stumbled back to my bed, collapsed onto it, and immediately fell asleep naked.

The bright morning sun awakened me. I felt groggy but strangely at piece, then I remembered why. Mmmmmmmm, nice feeling! The covers were over me too, and I figured I woke up sometime during the night and pulled them on. Reaching down to the floor for my nightie, I felt the rug. Looking up wearily, I saw it neatly draped over the chair in front of my vanity. Over the chair!? Mom was in here!! What did she see? My nightie on the floor made it obvious I fell asleep in the nude. I got this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach and a kind of burning around my face and ears, with dizziness setting in a few seconds later. I was never this embarrassed in my life! I took my robe off the hook on the back of my bedroom door, wrapped it around me and took a deep breath. Have to face Mom and think up some kind of excuse.

Mom was downstairs in the kitchen when I wandered in nonchalantly. She said good morning and asked if I'd like pancakes for breakfast, and I said that was fine. She didn't mention anything unusual or act strangely in any way. That had me wondering, so after an uncomfortable silence which seemed to last forever, I asked, "Mom, were you in my room anytime before I woke up?"

She answered, "Honey, I was a little worried this morning and thought I should check. When I looked in, I didn't want your father or your brother seeing you that way so I covered you."

We stood there just staring at each other, neither of us really knowing what to say. My throat tightened and tears welled up in my eyes before I lost it entirely and broke down in sobs. As I buried my face in my hands, Mom pulled me to her and gave me a long hug. "Ssshhhh, don't worry, everything's fine," she whispered.

I kept sobbing. "Mom, I feel so horrible! I didn't mean to fall asleep like that, don't be mad at me. I'm ashamed of myself! Don't think I'm bad or something, okay? Please?"

She sat me down and took a chair beside me. "Honey, look, when girls get to be your age, they do certain things when they're alone because they need to sometimes. They touch themselves in a very special way on some very private parts of their bodies to relieve these strong feelings we all get. Do you know what kind of touching I might be talking about?"

Still looking down, avoiding her gaze, I nodded slightly.

Mom continued, "There's nothing wrong with doing that, just so you know. I mean, there have even been times when I did it." I looked at her with amazed, bloodshot eyes. She asked, "Is that what you were doing last night, dear?"

A few seconds went by. I nodded and began crying again, only this time it was more from relief than embarrassment. I began to explain between sobs, "Some girls at school...yesterday...we were all...talking about..."

Mom hugged me again. "You're becoming a young woman, Jamie. You get these feelings, and that's part of growing up. Sometimes you have to deal with them on your own. It's certainly better than letting a boy give you a disease or get you pregnant. Especially at your age."

I said, "Well, no more for me. I won't do it again. Promise."

She retorted, "Oh yes you will. I know you will. Especially after what you felt last night."

Feigning puzzlement, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I heard you, dear. Don't worry, no one else did." Then she added with a little giggle and a sly grin, "Must have been a good one, huh?"

That got me laughing a little and I sniffed hard. "Yeah, it was more than anything I expected."
She asked, "You mean it was your first?" I said yes, then she just smiled and got this glassy look in her eyes like she was going to cry too. Now I know why, although at the time I couldn't figure that out. She asked me to make a promise, one that I CAN keep.

"Promise me that when your father and brother are home, you'll keep the noise down, okay?"

We both had a good laugh with that one. I answered yes, then quickly added, "There won't be a need to keep anything down because I'm not doing it again." Mom just smiled and shook her head.

Well, about a week after that first scary experience, I resumed masturbating as my mother predicted I would. Since then, I have continued to do it, on average, two or three times a day, often with multiple orgasms. It just feels too good!

A few years have passed since then. Mom and I have had many discussions about sex, guys, and masturbation. She still masturbates ("Tell your father and I'll kill you!") even though she loves Dad and says he keeps her happy in bed. Sometimes, she told me, you just have to give yourself a little quality time alone. We discussed techniques, multiple orgasms, ways to make it feel better and fun uses for a showerhead. Sometimes I don't even close the bedroom door when I have to masturbate and Mom is the only one home, although she's not quite so liberal to do the same when I'm around. On my 15th birthday she gave me an extra present, a 'little personal secret between us' -- an electric plug-in vibrator with different attachments, two of which are obviously insertable. Mom explained that the battery models break easily because they don't hold up to heavy use (wink) and all those batteries would get awfully expensive (wink wink).

At 16, I lost my virginity to a guy I really liked a lot, and never regretted it. During our very first intercourse I had an incredibly wild orgasm which, I'm sure, was due to all the 'practice' I did alone. If I didn't keep myself satisfied through masturbation before that time in my life, I know I would have gotten involved in sex at an earlier age before I was ready.

I just want to say, "Thanks Mom."

Why I started liking math

Shay just graduated from University (June '05) with a snazzy BA.H in Psychology. Currently she is between degrees - taking a couple of courses in couples/family therapy and working as a research assistant while she waits for acceptance into a grad program. So far she is on her way to becoming a sex therapist or a sex/sexuality researcher, but who knows, things can always change. Her main blog is at http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com/ but it's not hard for clever people to find my "other spot".

Kids remember funny things.

I remember overhearing a conversation that my dad was having with someone else (possibly a client?) over the phone, talking about masturbation. I clearly remember playing with my barbies in my room and listening as he said something like, "if you don't masturbate to figure out what you like, how are you ever going to know what you need from a partner in bed?"

At the time I wasn't really sure what this conversation meant, but I had a vague understanding of what "masturbating" meant (something grown-ups did, that involved playing with their "privates"), so I stored this bit or information away for future reference.

I think that a lot of people are convinced when they are young that masturbation is wrong - which is part of why it can be embarrassing to be caught.

Little kids (even babies) touch themselves all the time, at least until mommy (or daddy) catches them and says "Stop! That's wrong! Don't do THAT!" The message that it is wrong to touch those "naughty bits" is internalized and pushed into the subconscious - ready to spring out and heap guilt upon a young masturbator years later.

I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me that touching "there" was okay, but not acceptable around other people - it was a "private time" thing to do. I think that this is a very important message for parents to deliver to their children – not that pleasure (and sex) and penises and vaginas are bad or dirty or wrong, but that it's not always polite to rub or touch or "scratch" there in public.

So, even before really finding out what masturbation IS, I knew that people shouldn't feel guilty about it... Yet, years later, when I finally discovered masturbation for myself, I still couldn't help but feel a bit guilty.

Maybe because that first orgasm was so unexpected, it just swirled up inside me out of nowhere as I was playing "down there" one night (when I was supposed to be asleep), rubbing my clit against the palm of my hand. Maybe it was because the fantasy I had been having was about sex in a van (I know) with a fictitious older man, it seemed a little venturesome to me at the time. "Was that an orgasm? Is this allowed?" I worried.

Then came the twinge of guilt from wanting to do it more. Sometimes I would feel the urge while doing some math homework, a little tingly urge between my thighs. I tried to squeeze my legs together to hold it in, but that only made things worse.

"Okay, after these ten questions I'll go do it", "okay after these next three", "okay after this one!" - Until I ended up running off to "do it quick" and finishing my homework afterwards instead. "Am I out of control?" I fretted.

I didn't think other girls were like this. They just seemed to care about clothes and school and trying to go on dates with boys. Meanwhile, I was sitting through classes fantasizing (luckily I was a strong student to begin with) – thinking about other things that would be more fun to do with boys (and sometimes girls). I did try to cut back on the fantasies though, especially after the time one of my classmates asked me why I was so flushed in class and if I was feeling okay.

"Oh, very okay," I wanted to tell her, but I didn't and I still wondered why it seemed that I was the only one like this. Let's not even talk about those nights before I learned how to keep my bed from squeaking while I did it. I masturbated in fear of the words shouted from my parents' room: "Are you okay? Are you having trouble sleeping?" I'm sure (or at least I hope) that my mom thought I couldn't sleep and was tossing and turning in bed. Truth be told, I kind of liked the sound of the bed squeaking, but I made sure to only indulge in that when no one else was home.It wasn't too long (as I'm sure you can tell) until I no longer felt guilty about masturbating.

But still, when a group of friends and acquaintances were sitting around talking or rather, giggling, about masturbation, I would deny that I had ever tried it - "What! Me? I wouldn't even know how to do it!"

It wasn't until much later, when I realized that guys actually thought it was sexy and when I found out a lot of girls masturbate too, that I gave up denying my secret pleasure.

White Night

Arielle wrote at http://arielle.lustjournal.com/ until April of 2005. Fortunately, her lusty memories remain posted for us to enjoy.

I did not sleep last night. I had just completed another story I plan to post some other date. It brought back a lot of sweet memories and aroused me in a very special way.

Before I tell you more, promise me you won’t laugh. Please… Oh well, I’m sure you will anyway.
I had been writing down my account of my very first orgasms, from more than eight years ago. The first one I had reached through humping a pillow all night. It is one of the best memories I have, no matter how naive it was. Long before I was finished writing that story, I was already highly aroused. Before the end, I was grinding my pussy against my seat, hardly realizing what I was doing. I was completely immersed into my childhood memories. In a sudden burst of nostalgia, I wanted to repeat the experience. The rule was to get myself off only through humping and grinding, and without accessories except a pillow.

See? I told you you would laugh. To be honest, I found this a bit funny myself. For a few hours I became the little girl I used to be and laughed all the time, before, during and after. I had so much fun.

On to the details. I turned off the computer and got changed, wearing only a t-shirt and silk panties (no bra). Then I jumped on my queen size bed, threw the curtains on the floor and rolled to the right side of the mattress (I sleep on the left side and jill on the right side; you figure out why). I took a pillow and put it between my legs, while my head rested on the other. First I tried to grind it only through squeezing my tights. Then I got on my knees and started to hump the pillow for real, bursting out in laughs. That form of stimulation is not intense, but nonetheless pleasurable. I didn’t grind the pillow too hard at first, barely teasing my pussy. Then I rode it harder and faster, leaning forward, supporting myself with my hands. It felt real good. I wasn’t nearly coming yet, but it didn’t matter. It felt just as sensual as a body massage.

At some point I wanted more. I turned around and lied on my stomach, facing the mattress, still grinding the pillow between my legs, putting my face into the other pillow. Then I ground my whole body against the mattress, focusing on my chest and my pussy, rocking the bed. Now that was more like it. I pressed myself against the mattress harder and harder as minutes passed. I was having so much fun I couldn’t stop laughing, except of course for a moan once in a while. But whenever I reached that step I slowed down a bit. I wanted to cultivate that orgasm for as long as possible, remembering how long it took the first time and how good it was. I kept doing this for minutes, then hours. Naturally, after three to four hours of this, even slowing down doesn’t help much and I felt my first orgasm building up inside. This compelled me to grind the mattress even harder, to the point I felt like I was penetrating into it, molding it to the shape of my body. I was moving at an incredible pace even though I was getting quite tired after all this time. Who cares, I was flying.

I moaned and groaned into the pillow just like I had done in the past, adding to my ecstasy. I usually don’t fantasize during masturbation, but this time I was really into it, trying to recreate that exact same experience, only better, and this game was driving me wild. The feeling in my crotch was intensifying. It was only the second time in my life I had built an orgasm for that long and I could no longer wait to learn how good it would be. My breathing quickened, the frequency of my moans rose like a power peak, and so did my pleasure. I was rocking the bed so hard it was moving toward the center of the room. I couldn’t help putting maximum pressure on my tingling, throbbing clit which begged for a release, and so did I, screaming as I sensed it closing fast. That’s it, I was coming, I was coming… and I came, so hard that I lost my cadence, moving anarchically. I released a long, long scream that even the pillow couldn’t absorb. Powerful spasms shocked my entire body, to the point that I had a hard time keeping my grasp on the mattress. Oh yeah, that felt good. Oh yeah…

It wasn’t over yet. I kept going, begging for more. I had regained my control, so I could start building the next orgasm in line. My pussy was still feeling very high, even though it was just as worn out as I was. But I had to keep going, if only not to let the last few hours go to waste. I knew I could get multiple orgasms with just a little more effort. My lower back was aching, but I didn’t care either. All I cared about was pleasure as I kept laughing and groaning, then moaning loudly, breathing deeply, then rapidly, moving faster, pressing harder. The second orgasm took less than two minutes to build up and it was even stronger than the first, so powerful that it made me pull out the sheets. By the time it faded, I had slip off the bed starting from the waist. I kneeled on the floor, then humped the pillow from there, still grinding the mattress from the waist up. It didn’t work out very well so I resigned myself to just riding the pillow on the floor, not even willing to stop long enough to get back on the bed. It was a bit harder that way so I had to use both hands to press the pillow against myself, but it ended up working just fine. I felt the third one coming already. I moved even faster than earlier and moaned even more, then screamed as a third explosion of pleasure between my legs made me arch my back and bend my head backward, then forward as my eyes wouldn’t move away from the source of my satisfaction. I was jubilating, won over by the fever of ecstasy and euphoria, shivering of joyfulness.

I kept at it for about another hour, during which I came no less than eight times. Then I laid there on the floor, completely worn out, covered with sweat, unable to catch my breath, my heart racing. I had masturbated for about five hours and climaxed a total of eleven times in less than 90 minutes. I laid there for quite a while after that. Even once I found the strength to get back on my feet, sleeping on the bed was out of question; I had thrown everything on the floor and felt way too lazy to put everything back into place. I rather dragged myself on the couch in the living room. But in the end, I couldn’t manage to fall asleep after this and then dragged myself under the shower, where I didn’t even bother to wash myself but just let the water run on my skin, arms crossed on my chest. There I came back on what happened, as whenever I masturbate to exhaustion (quite often lately), feeling both satisfaction and shame, regardless of what my rational self come up with. I just can’t help being ashamed of getting off on childhood (childish) memories all night when I must get up to work first thing in the morning.
And there I am typing these words before going back on the couch and try to sleep a bit. To Hell with work today… I’m sick. Good day.

i'm not... it's not broken

rose is a mid 40's woman who felt her life had been derailed by a diagnosis of cervical cancer. the resulting treatment made her feel as if her sex life was over. thankfully, she reclaimed her sexuality and has been on a path of sexual awakening for the last year plus. her path of discovery can be found at http://www.aliferestarted.blogspot.com.


when i was diagnosed with cervical cancer, my first reaction was the realization that I had cancer. that I could die. after listening to the doctors, treatment options, what might happen, my second reaction was that my sex life was over.

i was in my early 40’s… to contemplate never having sex again was horrible. i loved to have sex… the intimacy, the total abandon i feel, the playfulness, the cumming, getting my lover to cum, finding ways to surprise my lover. I didn’t want to contemplate my life without sex.

looking back, i’m not sure what caused me more emotional pain… the fear of the cancer or the fear of losing my sexuality.

on 3 september 2003, i walked into my gynecologist’s office for a routine exam, including a pap smear. we discussed some issues that had been bothering me. i’d been spotting between periods, sometimes having periods 2 weeks apart, some unexplained discharge. my question was whether i was heading into perimenopause. dr. dabney put me on a low dose birth control pill to see if that would eliminate the symptoms.

two weeks later i had, what turned out to be, my last date for 15 months and my last orgasm for 6 months. the date was with a some time playmate who made me laugh. we also had the greatest conversations, mostly political in nature. and the sex, while all too infrequent, was always hot.

this particular night there was no sex planned. i’d already been called by my gynecologist to schedule my first biopsy. she wanted to check if the abnormal cells from the pap were actually cancerous. judah wanted to get me out, get my mind off the upcoming biopsy.

his choice for the evening was live music at his favorite classic rock joint, “the back fence” down in the village. sounded perfect. the atmosphere of the bar was early terrible, but the music was great. i don’t think there was a song we didn’t know. the drinks were cheap, the conversation great.

we sang along, we talked, held hands and kissed. neither of us mentioned the upcoming biopsy. i was there to forget and judah made sure i did. we left around 1 am, found a cab and headed back to the west side.

outside, under the scaffolding across the street from my building, we stood kissing goodnight. this led to hands wandering… which led to me undoing his pants and sucking his cock… which led to him pushing up my skirt, pushing aside my thong and fucking me, in the shadows of the scaffolding. he came and fingered my clit until i came.

we could’ve gone upstairs and been comfortable.

yeah, but this happened so fast… why spoil the mood. besides it was kind of fun to be sneaky and “bad”…

we laughed as an unmarked squad car pulled down the street. by this time, our clothes were rearranged and we were sitting chatting on the curb.

that was the last truly fun, carefree time i remember for the next several months.

from the end of September through my surgery in december, there were a never-ending series of tests, another biopsy, pre-op appointments and growing fears.

my suggested course of treatment was a radical hysterectomy that included removing my uterus, cervix, the very top of the vagina, the parametrium and lateral lymph nodes. it would affect my sex life in that my vagina would be a little shorter. intercourse may hurt. however, if i had regular intercourse following surgery (after the prescribed waiting period), that would keep the vagina supple, stretched and keep intercourse from hurting.


i turned off the sexual part of me. it was easy in the beginning. my focus was on dealing with the spectre of cancer hanging over me. with all the poking and prodding going on, i felt more like some sort of science experiment than a sexual person. in fact, i’d never felt so un-sexual in my entire life.

the several weeks following surgery were focused on healing from the radical surgery. every thing hurt, part of my left thigh was numb, i couldn’t even open a window. however, i did manage to fly to wisconsin for christmas with my family.

my brother has a shower with a removable showerhead. one morning, i decided to use it to see if i could cum. it was 3 weeks after surgery. i couldn’t put anything in my pussy, but the doc said nothing about orgasms. however, when faced with the showerhead, I couldn’t even try. i was terrified that they’d taken my ability to orgasm along with my uterus. standing in the shower, I cried until there were no more tears.


that’s it for me, i thought. my sex life was in the past. talk about depressed!

one day in late February, after my third visit with my oncologist to check my healing progress i was roaming around the internet. ending up in an adult toyshop site, i started perusing the vibrators. after much comparison-shopping, i bought a rabbit.

my thought was that it would kill two birds: i could experiment with penetration and stimulate my clit at the same time. I knew my body well and having my clit stimulated was the only way i could cum (so i thought at the time), i also wanted to work on keeping my vagina supple and able to handle a cock (just in case…). maybe, just maybe i could find my sexuality again… at least by myself.

three days later, my little package arrived. excited and terrified i raced up to my apartment, inserted the batteries, removed my clothes and hopped into bed. truth be told, i actually left on my panties… i was nervous. what if this didn’t work?

laying there trying to relax, i turned on the clit vibe part of the rabbit. rubbing it gingerly over my panty-covered clit, i focused on the feelings. that familiar feeling of arousal returned. for me, it starts as a sort of tickly feeling that’s a combination of pain and pleasure that swells to orgasm.

i remember biting my lower lip, praying the feeling wouldn’t disappear. it didn’t. i put down my new toy to remove my panties. i wanted to try more… it was feeling good, so why not take the plunge, so to speak. nobody would know but me if my little experiment failed, and the doc had cleared me for intercourse.

rubbing the head of my toy against my slit, i noticed i was actually wet. a good sign. slowly, agonizingly slowly i began pushing the shaft of my rabbit into my pussy. deeper and deeper i pushed and felt no pain. yippee!!

rabbit cock now imbedded in my pussy, clit stimulator sitting over my clit, i take a deep breath and turn on the vibrator and the swirling cock… no pain! in fact, it felt great! i sigh from pure relief and allow my mind to drift into a well-used fantasy about my favorite actor, liam neeson.

my mind wandered through my fantasy as one hand moved the vibe and one hand played with my nipples, rolling them between my fingers, squeezing them. it all felt good, really good.

soon my body began to tense, that familiar feeling of being on the edge of cumming was there: heat moving through my body, nipples growing harder, my clit aching for more pressure. i was afraid it would disappear. focusing on my breath, trying to relax and just give into the sensations my hips seemed to rock and buck on their own.

and there it was, a body shuddering, pussy tightening orgasm! breathing in short pants, i let myself surrender to the feelings, laughing and crying at the same time. i was ecstatic… everything still worked! they hadn’t stolen my sexuality (at least for me in private).

resting for a few minutes, i decided to try again. maybe the first time was a fluke. the second try was easier, because the fear of inserting anything in my pussy was gone. pussy full, clit stimulated, i came again. better this time, more intense.

i felt like a teenager just discovering the joys of sex! the relief was overwhelming. i laughed, i cried… then i picked up the phone.

hey blair, guess what?!?

that rabbit was my best boyfriend for an entire year. he died (of overuse) just as I decided to return to dating. he’s since been replaced by other toys and a man (or two). but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for my post-op, finding my orgasm again rabbit.

well hung

I found el_scorpion's story on his alt.com. As I'm not a member, I don't have access to email or comments. However, I encourage all of you to drop him an appreciative line for this sincere piece.

Warning: the title link is *NOT* work safe

"I can last longer than anybody." I said to myself. My brother and my two male cousins were around me. It was my turn. I knew I could out last them for sure. So, my eight years old ass got ready, ready to hang in the air. I jumped and grabbed a tree branch, and I hanged while my cousin "G" timed me with a stop watch. We were playing "hang like a monkey." The game was simple, you hanged from a tree branch for as long as you could. The winner had bragging rights, that's it.

Well, I was hanging for a longer than anyone else had lasted. It was 10 minutes for sure, maybe a bit more. I could feel my hands going numb, my fingers wanting to let go, and the branch began buring the skin under my hand. Then all of a sudden, I felt a hot sensation running from my abdominal muscles to my groin, then to my penis. I loved the burning sensation traveling inside my body. It felt like I was flying. Then booooommmmmm, I felt it! A shower of liquid existing my penis head. It was the most wonderful feeling I had ever felt. Even better than the pleasure burning sensation I felt minutes before. I loved it! My brother and cousin never noticed anything other than I was tired from hanging for so long.

For days, months and years, I continued to pleasure myself in this manner. I would hang for 10 to 15 minutes at a time until that buring sensation began then traveled down to my penis. This was my first orgasm and my discovery of self pleasure. An unconventional method to some, but this was all I knew, and it worked! It gave me pleasure. I came that summer so many times, and for years I continued this method. Until I discovered......

My First Work Orgasm

Tara Burns is a sex worker, child advocate, dog trainer, and psychology student. She is becoming a writer, a healer, and a fully engaged participant of the universe.

I used to be a straight-laced stripper. It was all a fantasy; you know, acting. Of course I didn’t like any of the customers or get anything sexual out of my job. That would make me a slut, and of course I wasn’t one of those girls. Somehow I clung to that veneer of respectability through several years of grinding my clothed cunt against the clothed penises of hundreds, no thousands, of men. I was young, my orgasms were muscle twitches, and I was pretty sure that sex was overrated.

Soon after discovering orgasms with a capital O (and becoming friendly with my pulsating shower head) I found myself running late for work, horny with no pulsating shower head on the horizon for at least eight hours. In the dressing room I hurried through my make up, trying to ignore my wet panties and tingling clit.

I decided to distract myself by focusing on making money that night. I walked out of the dressing room one huge ball of sexual frustration focused on selling a champagne room to the first customer who crossed my path. It didn’t take long, and soon I found myself straddling a customer on a fancy leather couch. On autopilot, I rubbed myself against him slowly, tossed my hair, and moaned into his ear. I did these little things every time; they increased the odds of him buying another champagne room. But this time it was feeling good! How unprofessional!

I couldn’t have that, so I turned around and leaned back, grinding against him with my ass. To keep him interested, I leaned back and breathed heavily against his neck. For some reason the throbbing in my clitoris wouldn’t go away. It kept building, throbbing, needing. “Turn around” the man underneath me asked, “like you were before?”

“Sure, baby,” I smiled at him and licked my lips as I turned, total super stripper. I settled back into his lap, centering myself on his hard penis and giving him smoldering sexy eyes as I rocked back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth, and soon my outer lips were hugging his penis, my clit grinding against it. I buried my face in his neck and gave in to the sensation that was spreading between my legs. Suddenly my clitoris was everything. My legs and arms were shaking as I moved it very slowly up and down, pushing against him, and then I was coming. My breath stopped, my body twitched, and I slumped down into his lap, a puddle of post orgasmic bliss.

When I opened my eyes, he spoke, “wow, I’ve never had a lap dance like that before!”

I’ve been one of those girls ever since.

more first orgasm resources

Personal Stories
An archive of men’s answers to the question, “What was your first orgasm like?” http://male101.com/faqs/pn/archives/fo01.html

Diary of my first orgasm – Wonderful first-person narrative of a woman’s first orgasm and her mother’s support http://www.very-koi.net/eroticfiction/stories/erotic234.htm

“How to” Guides
How to Have an Orgasm – Claire Cavanaugh of Babeland provides professional advice http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/howto/haveanorgasm

Tips for the preorgasmic – San Francisco Sex Information answers the questions “How do I have an orgasm?” http://www.sfsi.org/answers/preorgasmic.html

“Are you ready, Ladies?” – Clitical.com offers the steps to dance around your bits http://www.clitical.com/female-masturbation/masturbation-basics.php

Information for Pre-orgasmic Ladies – The-Clitoris offers an excellent in-depth guide to orgasm http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_tips.htm

Seven Techniques for Achieving Orgasm – Betty Dodson, the mother of masturbation, shares her know-how http://bettydodson.com/7techniq.htm

Question and Answer
VaginaPagina – a community dedicated to answering questions of a cunt-centric nature
http://www.vaginapagina.com

Ask Rachel and Claire – the founders of Babeland respond to pleasurable questions http://www.babeland.com/sexinfo/askrachelandclaire/

Ask Carol Queen – for more advanced sex ed, Carol is the Queen of Hearts http://www.carolqueen.com/pages/advice.htm

Sex Edvice – Ellen Friedrichs answers with compassion and know-how http://sexedvice.com/

Scarleteen – Answers questions for young adults and the rest of us http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/advice_orgasm.html

Toy Stores
Babeland – New York, LA, and Seattle http://babeland.com/

Good Vibrations – San Francisco http://www.goodvibes.com/

Blowfish – mail order http://blowfish.com/

Come As You Are – Toronto http://www.comeasyouare.com/

Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis http://www.smittenkittenonline.com/

Veg Sex Shop – Vegan mail order http://vegsexshop.com

Eve’s Garden – New York http://evesgarden.com/

Honeysuckle Shop – Chicago http://www.honeysuckleshop.com/

Early to Bed – Chicago http://early2bed.com

sugasm #24

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this week starting with the letter H:
Hickeys on Display (seska4lovers.com…)
HNT - On Display (sabrinainstockings.com…)
Holding the Reins, Part One (mouthybitch.blogspot.com…)
Housewife 1 on 1 Review (internetisforporn.com…)
How it All Started (tinastrangeworld.blogspot.com…)
How to find someone’s clitoris (if you don’t already know) (realadultsex.com…)
I Feel Excited… (darkdaughta.blogspot.com…)
I Love My Buttplug (suburbansexpot.blogs.com…)
I’m Kinky; You’re Just Sick (adelehaze.com…)
Is This a Sexy Post? (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com…)
I Want You (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)
Letter #F9 to Her (anawtymouz.blogspot.com…)
The Liberator (sin.typepad.com…)
A Little More on Teamwork (shaysotherspot.blogspot.com…)
Meeting M (v-boat.blogspot.com…)
Michelle Medina (eroticandy.blogspot.com…)
Mind Blowing (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com…)
Monogamania 2: In a Chemical World…Or, Where Did the Lust Go? (sexeteria.blogspot.com…)
My Fantasy (sexinga.blogspot.com…)
Are You as Tall as Your Penis? (sugarbank.com…)
More Sugasm…Join the Sugasm
My First Time… Pt 1 (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com…)
My First Woman, a Fantasy… (aliferestarted.blogspot.com…)
Need to Feed (hornynurse.livejournal.com…)
Nightclubbing (gentlygently.blogspot.com…
Parking. Not Just for Teenagers. (domequeen.blogspot.com…)
A Quick Tease (4dirtylaundry.blogspot.com…)
Realistic Virtual Tifa Finally Created (sugarjoy.com…)
Sex Ed 101 (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com…)
Sex Trick #9 - Lip Service (creamonpants.com…)
Slurpee King (radicalvixen.com…)
Snatch (chaosnoir.blogspot.com…)
Sorry I’m Not a Virgin, Sorry I’m Not a Slut… (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com…)
Thank God Reality TV has Asian Sluts too… (hawaiianwhores.blogspot.com…)
Theirs is a Perfect Relationship (janeluvsdick.com…)
Tie Me Up (destinedgreatness.blogspot.com…)
The Vixxen Chronicles - Walking Funny, Pt 1 (unfetteredcravings.blogspot.com…)
What DH Thought (barbiebaby09.livejournal.com…)
You Have Probably Been in a Porn Film (sugarpit.com…)
Airborne and Evil… Part II (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com…)
Anal Sex (hotcouple.co.uk)
Approaching an Internet Porn Star (seskuality.com…)
Choose a Cock to Doodle (sexblo.gs)
Coed Dorm Tales: Secret Girl’s First Orgasm with a Woman (omyfirstorgasm.blogspot.com…)
The Cock Interviews: A Secret Brain Special Report (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)
Confession #4 (easilyaroused.co.uk)
Creative Spanked Wife (Review) (sugarclick.com…)
Dirty Show Cowgirls (tirepaddle.com…)
Do You Trust Me? (damnjezebel.com…)
Gushing and More Gushing (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com…)
Erotica Verite (jundercovers.blogspot.com…)
Fat Bottomed Girl (deltaofvenus.blogspot.com…)
Female Genitalia: Dirty Entymology (barelace.blogspot.com…)
First Time - Part One (masterenigma.blogspot.com…)

Coed Dorm Tales

Secret Girl’s First Orgasm with a Woman

Secret Girl is a "normal" 30 something year old woman. You see her in line at the grocery store, in church, at ballet class. You see her with her husband in restaurants and community events. She loves her family - her husband and her children - BUT she has a secret. There's a side of her they will never see. There's a side of her that keeps her sane. That side is spontaneous and daring and very, very sexual. She blogs at http://secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com.

When I was a freshman in college I lived in a coed dorm. Sounds fun huh? Oh yeah. Unfortunately though, I got engaged shortly after starting to school and did not date while I was there. As a side note, I knew even then I was marrying the wrong man, but that's another story. I became friends with the resident assistant on another floor, Scott, and one night when my roommate locked me out I knocked on his door and asked for help. He offered his bed (how nice) and he slept on the couch. Really.

Sometime during the night we began talking and I confessed to him that I knew I was getting married for all the wrong reasons. I even told him that I wasn't sexually attracted to my fiancé and how much I missed sex. He offered to help. That night he pleasured me in the most amazing ways, but refused to let me so much as touch him. He said as long as I wore another man's diamond that I couldn't completely have him. Pretty strange huh? That night he made me cum over and over again with his hands and his tongue and finally jerked himself off as the morning came. Our relationship continued for several weeks. In addition to the wonderful releases he gave me, we became great friends.

As the weeks passed, I felt more and more guilty. I wanted so badly to make him feel as good as he made me feel and told him over and over again. He continued to refuse, but after a few months he offered me an opportunity to clear the slate.

Scott was also friends with a girl, Heather, that lived in the same dorm. Heather was openly a lesbian. She was beautiful. She had long blonde hair and a great body. The guys on campus always talked about what a waste it was. Mean, I know. We'd met on several occasions and she had confided in him how attracted she was to me. And so the story begins...Scott asked me to be with Heather and let him watch. It was his ultimate fantasy.

The night we met I was really nervous. I had no idea what to expect. I'd never even seen girl/girl porn and found myself wanting to back out. We met in Scott's room and had several drinks, turned on music and tried to relax. Finally, Scott gave Heather a knowing look and took a seat on the couch. Heather took me by the hand and led me to the bed. My heart was racing.

She leaned over close to me and whispered in my ear, "Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with and tell me if you want to stop. Relax and we'll take this really slow. Try to forget he's even here." That was all I needed. Suddenly any reservation I had was gone. (The beer probably helped too.)

So, I sat on the bed and she sat behind me. She began by just rubbing my shoulders and running her hands through my hair. I tried to put Scott out of my mind, but I couldn’t help but look up at him from time to time. I wanted to see his reaction. I wanted to see his pleasure.

She was so calm and purposeful with her touches and words. I remember thinking that it was the first time a woman had ever told me I was sexy and I believed her. When she pulled my shirt over my head and unhooked my bra it seemed very natural and when I felt her bare skin press against my back, aware of her hard nipples it intrigued me. Again, I was experiencing something I never had before.

She first cupped my breasts and started to gently roll my nipples with her fingers. It was so soft, almost like my own touch. Her lips on the back of my neck were also soft - not that a man’s lips are rough. It was just different. When I finally turned around I was definitely into the moment. It was so very sexy. I found myself wanting to kiss her, wanting to know what her mouth would feel like, wanting to taste her.

The kiss was sensual. It was long and deep. I couldn’t get enough of it. And I was so into it that I don’t even remember how the rest of my clothes, or hers came off. I just know that it wasn’t long before I felt her hands dancing on the inside of my thighs. When her fingers finally found my pussy I couldn’t wait for her to touch me. Her touch was so different from a man. It was like touching myself only without the knowledge of where it would go. It was like she knew instinctively just what I wanted and when. She quickly found my clit and circled and flicked and teased it until I was so close to cumming. She put one finger in my pussy and played with my ass. Everything felt so wonderful. Each time I was right at that point of no return she would stop and let me build up again.

At some point, we stopped kissing and she stopped fingering me to whisper in my ear again. “I want to taste your pussy. Can I?” Oh Yes! That was when my eyes flew wide open and I saw Scott again. I’d almost forgotten he was in the room. He was so silent. He never said a word, but the look on his face and massive erection were all I needed to see to know that he was getting just what he wanted.

Heather moved down the bed and spread my legs far apart. She prompted me to turn my hips so that Scott could have the best view of what was about to happen. She slowly kissed the inside of my thighs until she reached my pussy. I was already so wet. I think as soon as her tongue touched my slit I started to cum and by the time she found my clit I was over the edge. I came so hard it was like a wave of pleasure that kept rolling over and over me. My legs were shaking and my whole body tingled. Heather stayed between my legs and gently blew warm air on my pussy. It was amazing. When the shaking stopped she moved up my body and laid her head on my stomach. I was spent and I hadn’t done a thing. It was feeling I’d never felt before and haven’t felt since. With her head on my stomach she found her own pussy and quickly brought herself the same release. I know at some point Scott had done the same, but I didn’t see him as it happened.

Afterwards we all fell asleep in bed together (me in the middle) and the next morning I got up and went back to my room, showered and went to class. Scott and I continued to see each other after that, but we were never intimate again. He wanted a real relationship and I just couldn’t give it to him. I saw Heather a few times and always felt really awkward, but she would just smile and go on.